焦仲卿johnny(jforshort)劉蘭芝lunch(lforshort)
焦母johnny』s mother(jmforshort)劉母lunch』s mother(lmforshort)
太守之子mayor』sson(msforshort)強盜burglars(abandc)
prologue
(j作被打狀跑上台,內砸出一捲紙筒,j被打中,狼狽不堪)
j: everybody says that i』m hen pecked, but in fact,i』m a strong tiger,(小聲)while
my wife is wusong.
譯：人人都說我怕老婆，實際上我是老虎，（小聲）我妻子是武松。
(指著上台處的門大聲道)i』m not afraid of you! 譯：我才不怕你呢！
(內砸出一臉盆,j接住當成盾牌護著頭)then, i』m afraid of whom! my wife lunchi is the most famous woman in the is br**er than me,smarter than me and stronger than me .all this i donot care.
i only want she to be tender than me. but she is not! h**ing a wife like this is just like living in the hell!
譯：誰怕誰啊！在鄰里中，我妻子是最有名氣的。
她比我勇敢、比我聰明、比我強壯。我也不在乎這些。我只覺得她該對我溫柔些，但是她卻不懂溫柔！
有這樣的太太就像活在地獄中啊！
(內又砸出一捲紙筒,擊中j)
my god! who can help me?(下)
譯：我的天！誰來救救我啊？
act1
(序幕結束時,jm作竊聽狀)
jm(拄拐棍上): i can!
(對門內)lunch! lunch! where are you?
(扎著圍裙,拿著鍋鏟,從門內跳出來):i』m here! what』s up ，mum?
jm: i h**e told you again and again that you should call me 「my most beautiful
graceful and dearest mother in law」. most beautiful graceful and dearest
mother-in-law, what』s up?
jm: since you married my son you h**e beh**ed so h**e been so rude, so
brusque,so lazy!
j: but……
jm:never interrupt me!
j: never interrupt me! since i married your son, that terrible johnny,i h**e been working hard all
daylong,cooking and washing. i h**e raised tens of thousands of pigs and ducks and chicken
and……
jm: but all those you h**e done are not asvaluable as a grandson!
j(生氣地揮動著鍋鏟): oh,you want a grandson,don』t you?(開始解圍裙)go and
ask your son. i』m le**ing!(扯下圍裙,扔在jm的臉上,下)
act2
(lm坐在台上打毛線,j拿著鍋鏟上)
l: mum, i』m back!
lm: you are back?why?what happened?
l: i was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law.
lm(驚訝,但隨即露出幸災樂禍的神情):see! i h**e already told you! when you
insisted on marrying that terrible johnny, i told you that he is ugly tupid and
poor, but you did not listen to me. look at yourself……
l: but,mum……
lm: never interrupt me!
l: mum,i』m not interrupting you. i just want to tell you that you are always right ok?
and i』ll marry whomever you want me to.
lm(大喜): nice girl! just now, i met the mayor』s son in the said:「if your
daughter h**en』t been married,i really really want to marry her!」now
you are free again, i 』ll go and tell him.(下)
l(驚愕): what? the mayor』s son?
the most famous ******* in the neighbor-hood? (手中的鍋鏟掉在地上)what a silly thing i h**e done!(下)
act3
(j睡眼惺忪上)
j(邊走邊道): lunch! lunch! where are mysocks?
(走了幾步,在地上撿起襪子)here they are!(聞一下) er! how smelly! they are still dirty!
(突然想起)lunch has gone! i h**e to wash them myself.
(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起來)oh,i』m so hungry! but there』s no breakfast!
(撿起地上的圍裙)this is what lunch always wears! i miss her so much, and her excellent cooking skill! now she has h**e to cook for my mother and myself.
jm(上): where』s my breakfast? where』slunch?hasn』t she got up yet?
j: mum, can』t you remember?lunch has gone!
jm(沉吟片刻): well, to tell you the truth johnny, a son without a wife is suseless. lunch is an ice girl,go and take her back!
j(立正敬禮): yes madam!
act4
(j開心地走著，忽然跳出來三個強盜)
a: hey you!stop and listen to us!
the road is built by me!(抬腳重重地踩在一塊大石頭上)
b: and i planted one tree!(亦抬腳踩在同一塊石頭上)
c: if you want to go by this street---(欲踩石頭，但踩到了a的腳)
ab&c:give us all your money!
j(搜遍了每乙個口袋，掏出1角硬幣):is 1mao enough?
(三強盜暈倒狀，接著三人聚在一邊商量)
a: what bad luck! this guy is broken!
b: if we cannot robany money today,we will h**enot thing to eat tonight!
c: i heard that the mayor』s son is going to marry miss liulanzhi next can
go and rob the wedding!
a&b: good idea!
j(驚訝): what? what? lunch is going to get married? it』s impossible!
ab&c: why? a pretty girl and a richman,what a good couple!
j: but lunch is my wife! we h**en』t got divorced yet!
(突然有了主意)i』ve got an idea!you are going to rob the wedding, don』tyou? i』ll go
with you. you take the money and i take the bride.
b: h**e you got any experience?
j: no. but i』ve got this!(j脫下鞋子從裡面摸出一張支票，上書＄1，000，000)
act5
(轉眼已到了婚禮之期．ms意氣風發用紅綢牽著新娘上，j蓋著紅蓋頭極不情願地被拉上台)
(j和三強盜躍至臺中)
abc&j: hey you! stop and listen to us!
孔雀東南飛
五里一徘徊 十三能織素 十四學裁衣 十五彈箜篌 十六誦詩書 十七為君婦 心中常苦悲 君既為府吏 守節情不移 賤妾留空房 相見常日稀 雞鳴入機織 夜夜不得息 三日斷五疋 大人故嫌遲 非為織作遲 君家婦難為 妾不堪驅使 徒留無所施 便可白公姥 及時相遣歸 府吏得聞之 堂上啟阿母 兒已薄祿相 幸復得此婦 ...
孔雀東南飛
序曰 漢末建安中，廬江府小吏焦仲卿妻劉氏為仲卿母所遣，自誓不嫁。其家逼之，乃投水而死。仲卿聞之，亦自縊于庭樹。時人傷之，為詩云爾。孔雀東南飛，五里一徘徊。十三能織素，十四學裁衣，十五彈箜篌，十六誦詩書。十七為君婦，心中常苦悲。君既為府吏，守節情不移，賤妾留空房，相見常日稀。入機織，夜夜不得息。三日斷...
孔雀東南飛
原文解讀 漢末建安 中，廬江 府小吏 焦仲卿妻劉氏，為 仲卿母所遣 自誓不嫁。其家逼之，乃 投水而 死。仲卿聞之 亦自縊 于庭樹。時人 傷 11 之，為 12 詩云爾 13 句解 詩前序言，點明故事發生的時間 地點和人物 情節，交代成詩的經過。遣 逼 二字，集中表現了故事的矛盾衝突，全詩圍繞 遣 逼...